Portable Backcountry Adventure Poo Disposal Transport System Thing
For adventurers in sensitive wilderness areas.
Now you CAN take it with you when you “go”…
Yaktube is proudly made in the USA by American humans
The world’s greatest Pooptube commercial
This means that you must bring a portable toilet or poo disposal system with you on backcountry trips or face steep fines and penalties.
(See backcountry regulations links below for more info)
YakTube is the best all around system for adventurers.
Mojo’s advice for adventurous poopers. If you’re gonna carry your poop in a tube, get a Yaktube.
If you like to get life advice from puppets on the Interwebs, ask your doctor if the Mojo Show is right for you!
Green River: Canyonlands
Fudge Packer on the dunes.
Yak Tubes are now available in 3 sizes and materials.
You can order through Amazon or direct via Paypal
Artisan, hand crafted custom poop tubes. Each tube is made by American humans in the back yard with loving care and attention to detail.
Using only the finest USA made materials one can find at the local plumbing supply… so you don’t have to.
Tiny Monkey – $45 8 inch fun tube for short trips, doggie dumps or diaper duty. (2 days use for normal tiny humans or 1 day for a Texan. Individual results may vary)
Fudge Packer – $55 A serious foot long sub that’s built for the groovy business.
(One week use for normal humans or 3 days for a French woman whose name I will not divulge.) Individual results may vary…Weight comparison. HDPE = 1 pound 4 ounces PVC light = 1 pounds 12 ounces ABS = 2 pounds PVC = 3 pounds 8 ounces
Big Birtha – $75 A whopping 2 footer, for couples in love who want to share the load or solo artists on a self-exploration adventure. (One week use for 2 fun loving normal humans, 2 weeks for standard issue solo expedition use or one day for a politician. Individual results may vary)
+$23 shipping for USPS priority 3 day service
ZoPat the Explorer. Signature Model -$125 A monster 5 footer, this beast is what you need for all them diapers when you take a toddler out to Death Valley for a week Jeep Camping. Lock em up tight, strap it to the roof, don’t worry about em.
[Image coming soon]
The “Paducan“… An “average” one foot x 6″ Grand Groover . $120.
For those adventures with people that are completely full of their own $#!^.
The Grand PoohBah A whopping 2 foot long x 6″ poo loving monster YakTube! $140. Fun for the whole family!
Made from heavy dooty PVC. With a quick release, adjustable top.
These are ideal for groups, or super long trips. You can sit and drop your load directly into these big hungry monsters. Hang on tight! So no need to practice your aim over a coffee filter and make those adorable poo burritos for transport.
*Please contact us directly for a quote on custom sizes.
Yak Tubes are hand made from either 4″ PVC light (white), PVC Heavy dooty white, HDPE (white corrugated) plastic, or ABS (black).
Please specify what you would prefer when ordering. The new standard is PVC light. If you do not specify a preference we will send PVC light.
They each have unique characteristics. Please consider these options.
PVC is white so it reflects heat. It is strong and rugged. This is great for boating, or Jeeping but not so great for backpacking/biking.
There are 2 types of PVC, heavy dooty and light.
The fine print: These are really strong, but PVC can crack if you smack em against a rock, or something like that. So don’t do that.
FudgePacker PVC light = 1 pound 12 ounces
FudgePacker PVC heavy dooty = 3 pounds 8 ounces
HDPE is strong, white/reflective, flexible, and the lightest option available. The ultimate all around choice for hot adventures and PooPortablility.
The fine print. HDPE has one possible issue, since it is lighter/more flexible tubing, if you squoosh the side of the tube, the rear seal can flex and fail. So don’t do that. Mmmmkay?
In other words… Don’t sit on the side, step on it, tie it to the front of a boat where it could get squished or any thing else like that. If you do you can apply new goo to reseal it. But they will not likely crack or break, so if you really want to smack one of these against a rock, you can. You can even use them in the campfire drum circle, if you’re into that sort of thing.
FudgePacker HDPE = 1 pound 4 ounces
ABS is strong and durable, however because it is black it absorbs heat. This can cause problems in hot climates. Big problems like poo explosions. Never happened to me, but I have heard the natives sing folk songs about this.
Methane from decomposing poo makes explosive vapors. So never leave one in the direct sun on a Summer day.
Fudgepacker ABS = 2 pounds
IMPORTANT NOTE: Due to biosafety laws and regulations regarding products that are used in contact with bodily fluids or waste, returns can not be accepted.
YakTubes are handmade per order. They are not mass produced in China.
Due to the nature of the product and various possibilities of leakage or explosion if not used properly we cannot assume liability. Please use at your own risk with the utmost care and common sense. We are all responsible for our own shit in life… This is no different. Thanks for understanding. 🙂
*Kayaking, canoeing, boating.
*Backpacking, hiking, camping.
*Jeeping, 4 wheeling.
*Back country skiing, snowboarding, snow shoeing.
*Mom’s diaper vault for road trips. Ever had a used diaper spill on your car seats in the Summer? Use Yak Tube and you never will.
*Dog poo porter. So much more stylish than walking around with a fist full of doo, while searching for a trash can.
Everybody poops… but not everyone looks so stylish or smells so “fresh” lugging it out of the backcountry…
🙂 Yak Tube … Leave no trace! (:
Other non-poo related uses for Yak Tube
*Time capsule, stash tube for your valuables/silver/gold, etc.
*Lens protection when transporting camera gear.
*Food storage to protect vittles from critters.
*Advance food cache drops along trip routes to reduce packing weight.
*Boating or water sports dry safe container.
*** Just don’t use the same one you poop in.
Yak Tube was created by photographer/composer/adventurer/designer Brett Houston. It was conceived after an awesome 120 mile kayak adventure down the Green River through Canyonlands to the Colorado River. This wilderness area does not have facilities and it is forbidden to poop there. You are required by law to pack out your poo, or pay dearly… The design was based on the standard “torpedo” toilet which is known to have a few nasty flaws (Fun stuff like leaking or exploding in the hot sun). Yak Tube was the result of an inspirational challenge to create a better poo portation machine.
Scorched and bitten on the mighty Green River…
This short guide will give you all the information that you need to most effectively use your Yak Tube
Directions for use
*Put on glove.
*Open YakTube and place lid on something that won’t transfer dirt or sand to rubber seal.
*Lay down your poo target/capture device (coffee filter, flour tortilla, paper towel etc).
*Drop your drawers, squat over target and release the beast (poop).
*Sprinkle a pinch of magic poo pixie dust over the fresh loaf. (Not obligatory, but helpful)
*Wrap up your burrito.
*Plop the special package in to the YakTube poo depository contraption.
*Make sure rubber seal on lid, and inside lip of YakTube are free of any dirt, sand or other debris.
*Seal top securely, but be careful not to over tighten wingnut.
*Stow YakTube in a cool place, (out of direct sun)
When you return from your adventure take your precious cargo to an approved waste disposal site to send it off to its final resting place. Some State or National Parks may have facilities, if not most RV dumpsites will work. I’m not one to tell you what to do with your “business” but I wouldn’t recommend flushing all those coffee filter burritos in a regular toilet as it might clog it up…
Using a liner bag in the Yak Tube will reduce clean-up time after your trip.
Attention to details (AKA the “Fine Print”)
I won’t say that these are “guaranteed” because there are too many variables here that are beyond my control. However if you follow the directions and use common sense they should work just fine.
For a worst case example, if you eat a load of expired chili, 7 Powerbars, drink your weight in RedBull, smoke banana peels and leave the tube in direct sunlight all day it will probably explode and shower everyone with hot poo lava. So don’t do that-unless you’re into that sort of thing-then just don’t do it around me. (Seriously though, I have heard from Rangers that if you leave those black ABS Torpedo Toilets in the sun they can explode. It has never happened to me, if you don’t leave yours in the sun, it should never happen to you either. So what I’m saying here is, never leave any pootainer in the direct sunlight for long periods of time. That would include storing it inside black things that are in direct sunlight too. (Poo vapors create methane gas ya know).
Nothing made by humans is perfect but these are the best sealing options available on the market. I have never had one leak on a trip, but I suspect some goombah is gonna buy one of these, do something crazy careless and blame us… SO, don’t be that goombah. Follow the guidelines to ensure you have a super good time… mmmmkkay?
Due to the nature of use of Yak Tube and considering Federal regulations being what they are with sending hazardous waste through the mail, we cannot accept returns.
Anyway, Yak Tube will handle your “business”, allowing you to focus on having a super-happy-fun-time adventure without mucking up the great outdoors or having Ranger Rick write you a ticket.
Send us fun photos of you and your Yaktube on adventures for the website gallery!
Yee Haw. Carrying poo in a tube has never been more fun, or stylish…
Info about rules and regulations for backcountry pooping.
Portable toilet restrictions and guideline info for BLM. (Bureau of Land Management)
FYI, the design shown here using standard RV caps will leak because the seal is not strong enough. And since they are black, they can explode if left in the hot sun.
Adventure Journal article “Overwhelmed by Poop, Canyonlands Now Makes You Pack It Out”
For your consideration
You can spend $400 on a deluxe portable toilet with an outfitter, but aside from being shiny and cheap they are way too big for a kayak, backpack or bike.
The PETT toilet costs $120 and uses WAG bags which are no longer allowed in many State or National Parks.
You could rent a toilet, but hey, do you really want to use someone else’s poop contraption? This is gonna be with you every day in the backcountry. You don’t want something nasty like that to spoil your trip.
Yak Tubes are fair priced and they do the job. (Or “handle your business”, yeah, that sounds better.) They are lighter, cheaper, cooler and easier to store than most portable toilets. And more importantly, I want you to buy one so I can show my wife I wasn’t insane for starting this project…
Sure you could go down to Home Depot and spend a day designing and making your own poop tube, but the materials alone will cost you $20, then there’s overpriced gas and your day spent in the garage slamming tools around. Just buy the YakTube and take the day off to do something fun instead. Besides, I need the money to buy my daughter a pony… And then there’s college, so maybe buy two or three.
They make great gifts. Everybody poops, and I bet they don’t have one of these for their cubical at work, their car, or home during emergencies like hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, Uncle Ernie’s visit or whatever else that may cause utilities to be disrupted. They are also great for Parisians, Londoners or New Yorkers with those tiny studios with a shared toilet down the hall. I mean, I hear from people, I wouldn’t actually know from experience…
And hey you don’t have to put poop in them, you could put other stuff in them for all kinds of purposes. For example, fill them full of secret things or gold bullion to bury in the backyard, leave food caches along trails/rivers for long trips, make a time capsule, or that Geo Caching thing people do. Although, I think they prefer old coffee cans for that… Whatever.
These are affordable, reusable, recyclable and meet State and Federal guidelines for waste removal contraptions.
They stow easily in the hull of your kayak, canoe, bike rack, panniers or strapped to backpacks.
They make great conversation pieces around the water cooler with cityslick coworkers who have no clue why you spend your vacations f’ing off in the middle of nowhere with out a big comfy bed, HD TV, WiFi, 4g hotspot, room service and valet. Yeah, tell em how you eat reanimated food-like substances boiled in a bag, that must constantly be defended from rats, marmots, hippies and bears. Ya drink water you pumped from a muddy river and poop on a coffee filter that gets shoved into a poop tube you bought from some musician on the interweb. All so you can absorb pristine wilderness and paddle/climb/hike/bike/ride for hours on end in the crispy sun only to crawl off to sleep by a crackling fire in a mummy bag under a silent, star infested sky. They will worship you.
Speaking of saving your chow, these can also be used to store vittles where varmits can’t get to em. Although, don’t use the same one you poop in one for God’s sake… get another one for food. There’s nothing worse than having rats, mice, raccoons, marmots, bears or hippies getting in to your food supply. Starving in the middle of nowhere is not as badass as it seems in movies. And pine cones do not taste as good as they look after 3 days without food.
Yak Tubes float and are waterproof, so you could use one as a dry safe for valuables.
Personal PooPortation system for adventurers in sensitive wilderness areas
©2016 Brett Houston